“Self Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt
I wish I could sit here and write that I have never been one to care what other people think or that I am not guilty of comparing myself to others. But the honest truth is that I definitely am not perfect and I can be guilty of the darkness that is self comparison.
The rather depressing aspect of this truth is that I know I am not the only one. It is as if the media has trained us, especially females, to always be rivaled against each other in the race of success. The world has convinced us that our success is contingent upon whether or not someone is more or less successful than us.
As a result, we are constantly struggling with selfish desires and issues such as jealousy, self comparison, or envy. And apart of this is not our fault. The media has influenced us to think and act this way. They even go as far to convince us that in order to be successful we must adapt these traits.
But it is a lie! Our success is not dependent upon another. We have our own stories, journeys, and trials. Our own set of unique gifts and talents. And the way in which we are to live out those gifts will be different than those around us. Let us unite together and support one another’s dreams and aspirations. We should lift each other up and encourage one another on this journey of life. Girl Power Unite! Here are a few ways to kick those feelings of self comparison in the butt!
1.Focus on the Positive
It is easy to sit there and say things to ourselves like,”Well, she has nicer clothes.” or “Her skin is so flawless.” Or even “She has such an amazing career, I will never be as successful as her.” But in all of these statements we are focusing on the things we do not have. But I think we can all find a few aspects of our lives that make us very lucky and very blessed.
Pick up a gratitude journal and begin to write all your blessings on daily basis and you will begin to feel more uplifted.
2. Embrace the Habit of Complimenting
One of the many things I have learned from my husband is the power of a compliment. He is so good at meeting people and immediately finding someway to compliment or encourage them. As women, I think we can sometimes be hesitant to compliment one another. And that is sad. We should get in the habit of looking at each other and finding something beautiful about that person to encourage them.
3. Share Your Knowledge
I have seen that so many of us are hesitant to share our industry secrets because we are afraid that if others know what we know, they might get ahead, which will in turn make us fall behind. But the truth is by sharing your knowledge, you are empowering yourself and those around you. By being a team player you will actually INCREASE your chances at success.
4. Remember Your Goals
Sometimes when we are getting caught in the self comparison trap,it is because we are focusing too much of our energy by looking into the lives of others. We start wanting what others have and begin to forget our own personal goals. When we take a step back and recall what it is we really want, we will often find that it is often very different from the lives we were lusting after. Take a step back and remember what you ultimately want.
None of us are perfect. And self comparison will probably be a constantly struggle in our lives. But when we make a conscious effort to make a change in our way of thinking, you might just be surprised how your attitude and mind set will begin to change.
The media might try to convince us women to rival against each other. They do everything they can to make us feel that we must do whatever it takes, including ruining friendships just to be successful. But good friends have help guide you along this journey of life. And make the ride a lot smoother.
Happy Monday Loves. And remember, GIRL POWER UNITE!
This is absolutely amazing article! Thank you a lot for sharing!